Let's Talk Stress....
Picture this.
You've tried on your gown for the 100th time. Needs more alterations.
The pair of bridal heels you bought online...they came in one size too small and you gotta ship them back to Amazon.
Mom just invited 30 people you've never even met to the reception.
Aunt Mae is giving you unsolicited advice about your wedding colors.
You're trying to get all 8 bridesmaids on the same page in the Facebook group chat.
Groom-to-be has kind of tuned out everything related to wedding talk and just wants to show up for the ceremony and the party after.
You're trying to keep up with the emails and planning processes with your vendors and you feel like you are drowning in to-do lists.
annnndddd.........
Oh, and we are short a groomsman.
You feel like your wedding planning is out of control and your feel overwhelmed and ready to either just elope to the Huron Mountains (hey, still not a bad idea) or just run to the courthouse.
Stop. Hold Up.
Take a deep breath.
Because this post is for YOU.
Make self care a priority
This is one of my must-haves and it applies to not only wedding planning but real life in general.
Our bodies need breaks in order to function correctly and to keep our mind and soul balanced.
Self care can look like:
A hot Epsom salt bath with lavender oils
A coffee date with your hubby to be or a friend
A walk
A workout at the gymn
A afternoon off with no wedding planning and just nothing pressing scheduled in. A time to relax.
A trip to the massage therapist
Just do it. Your body will thank you.
Set Realistic budgets
I feel like this topic is hit or miss, but I'm gonna bring it up. Set a budget and stick to it for your wedding day.
Prioritize the things that matter most to you and allocate those funds to those items. That could be booking a photographer and/or videographer who is reputable and reliable and their work is stunning works of art. Or maybe you want an awesome meal and want to invest in a crazy amazing grazing table during cocktail hour and a multi-course meal for the main reception.
Wedding planning is crazy but do not feel that you have to accommodate everyone and their wants and wishes. This is your day. You get to pick the dress, the colors, the wedding favors. You do you, just don't go out of control paying for things that do not bring peace to your soul.
Schedule breaks
Regularly schedule days or evenings when you take a break from wedding planning. Use this time to enjoy with your partner or do something fun to distract yourself from the wedding details.
Have a backup plan
This is so, so important.
Knowing that you have backup plans for potential issues (like weather for an outdoor wedding) can help reduce anxiety about what could go wrong.
This might look like,
Communicating with your venue to see how they can accommodate for storms and other mishaps.
Buying extra white or clear umbrellas in case of rain during the photos and working with your photographer to locate alternate locations for portraits
be brave and say "no" to things that are not helpful
Saying no to things you don't want for your wedding day is crucial for ensuring the celebration reflects your and your partner's preferences and values. Here's how to approach these situations gracefully and assertively:
- Start with Gratitude: Begin your response by expressing appreciation for the suggestion or offer. Saying something like, "Thank you for your suggestion/offer, we really appreciate you thinking of us..." acknowledges the person's effort and makes it easier to introduce your refusal.
- Be Clear and Direct: After expressing gratitude, be clear and straightforward about your decision. You might say, "However, after considering it, we've decided to go in a different direction that aligns more closely with our vision for the day."
- Offer an Explanation (If You Wish): You're not obliged to justify your decisions, but if you feel it’s necessary or could provide clarity, briefly explain why you're declining. Keep it simple and focused on your preferences or the wedding's overall theme, e.g., "We're aiming for a very intimate setting, so we're keeping the guest list very limited."
- Stay Unified with Your Partner: Present a united front with your partner. Use "we" statements to show that the decision is mutual. It's harder for family or friends to argue when they see you're both in agreement.
- Offer Alternatives (When Possible): If someone is particularly enthusiastic about contributing or has their heart set on a specific idea, try to find an alternative that suits both parties. For instance, "We've already chosen our centerpieces, but would you be interested in helping us with the guestbook table decorations?"
- Be Firm but Kind: Some people may push back or question your decision. It's important to remain firm but kind. Reiterate your stance with a smile, "I understand you're disappointed, but we've really set our hearts on this. We hope you can support our decision."
delegate tasks
Remember, you don’t have to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks to your partner, family members, and bridal party. Consider hiring a wedding planner if your budget allows. They can take a significant load off your shoulders and help manage the details. When you delegate a specific person to handle major timeline tasks, I will typically work with that person throughout the wedding day, so you can relax and focus on having FUN!!
- Identify Tasks to Delegate: Start by listing all the tasks that need to be handled on the wedding day, including setting up decorations, coordinating with vendors, managing the timeline, handling payments, and packing up at the end of the night.
- Know Your Wedding Party and Guests: Think about the skills, strengths, and interests of your friends, family, and wedding party members. Assign tasks that match their abilities and interests, ensuring they'll be comfortable and effective in their roles.
- Communicate Clearly: Once you've matched tasks with volunteers, communicate clearly what you need from them. Provide detailed instructions, expectations, and any necessary information (like vendor contact details or the timeline of events) well in advance. Clear communication can prevent confusion and ensure everyone is on the same page.
- Hold a Briefing Session: If possible, hold a meeting or briefing session with all your helpers before the wedding day. This gives everyone a chance to ask questions, clarify their roles, and understand how their tasks fit into the larger picture. It also allows your team to coordinate with each other, fostering a sense of teamwork.
- Use a Coordinator or Point Person: Designate a day-of coordinator or a responsible point person (a trusted friend, family member, or professional wedding planner) to oversee the execution of tasks and be the go-to person for any issues that arise. This relieves you from having to field questions or solve problems on your wedding day.
- Prepare an Emergency Kit: Create a wedding day emergency kit that includes items like safety pins, stain remover, band-aids, extra makeup, and anything else that might be needed in a pinch. Hand this off to a trusted person who can handle minor crises.
When I was a bride planning my own wedding, I wish someone had given me advice like some of this above.
Not only am I your photographer, but I am your cheerleader the day of the wedding. I want to see you have the best day of your life and have a ton of fun with the least amount of stress possible! I hope this post was helpful!